Today has been a hard day...for several reasons...
A year ago I was in Alabama, spending time with my new boyfriend. We had talked for 2 months, we had prayed and we had talked and talked and talked and decided that we should definitely spend some time together to see if this was going to work. So, the day after school got out, I drove to AL and met Logan for the first time. We enjoyed a great long weekend together and then I flew to Maryland and interviewed at MACA and at another school in Delaware, then I spent some time with my Mommom. I flew back to AL and spent a few more days with Logan, I left there thinking this was the man I was going to marry and that we would do the long distance thing for one year and then I would move to AL and we would be together, in the same city at least. I returned to Miami, packed up my apt, spent some time with friends and then moved ALL my stuff to Maryland and spent the summer between Mommom's house, Michigan with my parents, Alabama with Logan and finally moved to Maryland in August just in time for school to start.
Now, fast forward a year with me...through Mommom's death, an awesome proposal, a very difficult year away from everyone and everything I knew, wonderful students, a broken engagement and now almost unemployed status...WHAT THE HECK IS GOING ON???
So, today, I went to work exhausted (my best friend, Amanda, visited this weekend- that's another blog post), only to hear a long list of people who had been hired to teach next year and many questions directed towards me about what my future holds. I probably don't have to tell you that there were many tears shed today...more than I want to admit, but they were there none the less. A list that included a good friend who is taking my job and other positions that could have been mine if things had happened/or been handled differently. And then the overwhelming task of packing up my classroom and bringing it all home! WHY??? That's what I keep thinking, but yet, I know in my heart, that this is all for a reason...The God I serve is an Amazing God and I have to continue to trust in Him. I'm trying to look for the things that God is teaching me through this and I'm interested to see what He has planned next. Even as I write this, I'm not sure what's going to happen and I honestly am not feeling all top happy about the possibilities, but I also feel in my heart that God is going to do something great and that He is going to provide me with a teaching job that I love. He promises to give us the desires of our hearts...that's my desire- to teach and to be married to the BEST man God has for me.
I know that every single thing that has happened in the last year is exactly what God wanted and planned and I have to continue trusting Him and know each step of my walk is ordered (and directed) by the Lord. I can't let doubt and bitterness take root and I can't allow Satan to distract me. It's been so amazing to me that I have so many friends who are praying for me and concerned about me and that want to help me find a job (AHEM...Ginny and Allie and Amanda and...the list goes on). I don't write this to make people feel sorry for me, but I would appreciate your prayers and soon (hopefully) we can celebrate together what God is going to do. I am praying specifically that I know where I'll be working by July 1- will you join me in praying specifically?
2 comments:
Stacie, I think we've all had that time of limbo in our lives where we don't know what's next. I'm a planner, just like you, waiting is so hard. I will be praying with you and look forward to hearing about God's great plan He has yet to reveal! Thank you for sharing your heart for all of us too...I don't do that as much as I should. I too have had a really, really awful year. God is good though, and His ways are best.
It makes my heart heavy for you and your burdens but happy to see that you have a wonderful attitude about everything you are facing!! Keeping you in our prayers for sure!
Post a Comment