This post has been in my mind and on my heart for awhile now...it's time to tell our story. It's been 2 years since we've updated the blog (crazy to think about for sure, but true), and in those 2+ years, we've been traveling down the road of infertility. A road that I want to deny I'm on, but I'm on it none-the-less. Not an easy road by any means...a road filled with struggles, tears, testing, hoping, frustration and prayer. A road that thankfully, we have not had to travel alone- God has blessed us with amazing friends who have been through what we're going through and can empathize- however, at times, we have felt very alone and very sad. Our family has been great, and we're thankful for them as well. We have been through countless tests, Dr. visits, blood draws, ultrasounds, pregnancy tests and procedures...and still no baby. We are blessed to have amazing insurance and live in an area where fertility doctors, medicines, and facilities are covered and are top notch. Still that amazing insurance made us go through 6 IUI cycles before we could finally move onto IVF. We have now been through 3 IVF cycles and it's been quite the roller coaster. Through all this time, we've learned a lot about our bodies and how miraculous any little life is. We still don't have any definite answers as to why we're unable to get pregnant, but we do have some answers. We've had 2 miscarriages and we've seen our tiny little embryos before they were transferred. Life is an absolute miracle and the fact that those tiny little embryos (the size of only a grain of sand) become a human being with all the working parts and organs we need is an absolute miracle of God. There is no other explanation!!! Our God is Elohim, the Creator! And yet, no baby...we continue to ask 'Why?' and we continue to pray for a miracle. At this point, it seems like only a miracle and the Hand of God will give us our own baby. However, we know God can do anything, and His timing is always perfect...we have struggled, and we try to remind ourselves that this is all for a purpose; we certainly don't know exactly what purpose it is yet, but there is a purpose. I pray that our story encourages others that are walking down this road. Ask for help, ask for prayer, seek the Lord and DO NOT feel like you're the only one. It's a hard road to walk, but God is our rock and our strength, He is our hope, our strength and our joy. We will continue to pray for a miracle, we will continue to seek the Lord and we will continue to pray for His will to be done in this.
There are so many more things I want to say, like stop asking people why they don't have kids, and it's not fair that someone else has a baby and I don't, but walking down this road has taught me that people will always say stupid things and that we may never have the answers we want on this side of Heaven. It sounds cliche, but we are all struggling with something, we need to keep that in mind and give grace and give love. I know I don't do this enough, and I know I need to get better at this, we need to show the world Jesus and this is what He would do. Our road is hard, but our God is greater and we pray that our story will be a testimony of what God can do in and through us.
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